"People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up."

"The turtle lives 'twixt plated decksWhich practically conceal its sex.I think it clever of the turtleIn such a fix to be so fertile."

"Progress might have been all right once but it has gone on too long."

"People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it."

"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of."

"I drink because she nags, he said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew."

"The people who are the most bigoted are the people who have no convictions at all."

"Such is the irresistible nature of truth that all it asks, and all it wants, is the liberty of appearing."

"He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it - namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to obtain."

"I am as vulnerable and fragile as it is possible to be. I am shredded to the core. I am at the point where I am stripped bare."

"Old people think young people haven't learned about love. Young people think old people have forgotten about love."

"HYPOCRITE, n. One who, profession virtues that he does not respect secures the advantage of seeming to be what he depises."